Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Craft: CrapCraft, or, Why I'm Not A Lifestyle Blogger.

I'm really excited to be able to bring you a new series to my blog today! I'm calling it CrapCraft, or, Why I'm Not A Lifestyle Blogger.
I had a minor panic at work a couple of weeks ago when a colleague came careering round a corner and sloshed her black coffee down my trusty cream cotton jumper. But, instead of panicking when the mark wouldn't come out, I realised that I could fix that problem with one easy solution: home dye!
Unpeturbed by my earlier attempts to be the crafty thrifty sort, I rushed to the haberdashers, excitedly picked my dye colour (a lovely jewel-toned purple), and set about following the instructions. To achieve a really rich, deep colour, I left it for longer than suggested. I rinsed and left it to dry.
It's come out lilac. Bloody lilac. That well known, fashionable colour, loved by the over-50s and French people.
This slightly pathetic iPhone picture summarises quite a lot of the reasons why I am not a lifestyle blogger. Or, frankly, a proper blogger. I'm really impressed by people who blog every day or who write their own coding for their blogs (although I do wonder how they manage to fit in a 40 hour working week, a commute, eating, showering and sleeping  alongside hammering away at content). But clearly, it is not for me. A lifestyle blogger would not have accidentally dyed their shower tray pink, or have somehow stretched one arm longer than the other. Their cat would not have put a paw in the purple liquid, and they would not have spent five minutes trying to stop him going on the cream carpet. The ombre effect would have been intentional, and not just the effect of the jumper drying unevenly. They would have decided to embrace the lilac and posed, while looking fashionable and chic. They probably wouldn't have sworn and stomped off to put the kettle on.

But, I remain undaunted. My attempts to branch out my hobbies are continuing and, as I've been enjoying trying new things and writing about them recently (albeit on other people's blogs rather than my own), consider yourselves warned. There may be more CrapCraft in the future. 


  1. This made me snort with laughter. CrapCraft is pretty much what I specialise in, which is why (despite my original intentions) I almost never blog about crafting or baking. My efforts are just not fit for public consumption!

  2. I still maintain you could carry it off.

  3. This IS what happens to lifestyle bloggers, they just don't tell you. What is the fabric blend of the jumper?