Friday 13 March 2015

Holiday For One

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single girl in possession of a spare room must be in want of a flatmate. Except, I'm not. It was one of the many things that surprised me about becoming newly single, the frequency with which I was asked whether I was looking to live with a friend. Generally speaking, I've found that living on my own is ok. I'm used to spending time on my own, I like my space, the peace and quiet is lovely, and I'm happy pottering around entertaining myself. When you've got tea, books, the cat, and box sets on demand, what more could you want?

There is a limit to my introversion though. I am really lucky in that it is largely a choice - if I'm teetering on the border of lonely then I can take myself out for a coffee, go to the gym, or give a friend a call.

The only thing that is bothering me? Holidays.
I never used to think of myself as a beach holiday person. As a child I'd hide inside during the summer, playing on the computer or reading. It'd never crossed my mind to go away with a group of friends while I was a student - we spent our summer holidays working, with music festivals as our equivalent of a week in Ibiza. It wasn't until I found myself desperate to escape to the drudgery of work and the constant Scottish summer rain that I really began to see the appeal. Four years on Greek islands... and I'm hooked.

The thing is that I'm not the kind of person who finds it easy to relax. My weekends usually involve one day of cleaning, tidying, cooking and going to the supermarket, and one day of seeing friends. I feel guilty when I lie on the sofa watching a film or reading - I can't enjoy it if I've got housework to do. No offense to my lovely family - who between them have some of the most beautiful parts of the UK covered - but I want warmth. and to be able to crack open a beer at 11am because it's cheaper than a can of Coke.

So, where does the single woman go on holiday?

I've been thinking about a Yoga retreat somewhere sunny and beautiful. There's something very appealing about the thought of a week spent relaxing both my body and mind, with the backup of company or solitude, depending on what I fancy. But the thought of sharing a room with a stranger terrifies me, and I'd be worried I'd pull a muscle on the second day.

Or then there's a city break - Barcelona perhaps - exploring and adventuring, visiting museums and wandering, eating picnics in parks. But is there a limit to how much you can enjoy an experience if there's no one to share it with, and is it wise to travel somewhere alone without speaking the language?

To follow the old cliché of finishing a blog post with a question - has anyone had experience of holidaying alone, and what wisdom would you share with me?

14 comments:

  1. I've only ever holidayed with friends but I know folk who have holidayed alone and really advocate it. I think it is about finding something you would really enjoy doing as that seems to increase the chances of other folk being okay AND being okay with whether you make friends, form part of a group or just don't. I reckon you have that bit covered :)

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    1. I think you're right - picking something that I'll really enjoy for the experience as much as for the "holiday" will be important.

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  2. I think that holidaying with friends is great fun, but travelling by yourself is really underrated! you can do whatever you want, see whatever you want to see and just have some "me time" for yourself. I've visited the UK many times by myself and loved it, but I also went for day-long exploration trips in cities in Italy and found I had the greatest time anyways. The yoga retreat sounds great :) I know you said you needed warmth, but what about cities like Vienna and Berlin?
    p.s. I followed you on Bloglovin, I really love your posts! If you checked out my blog (if you have time) I would be really pleased :)
    Laura x

    alifeindisguise.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! I'd really like to do some more city breaks, Vienna has been on my list for ages! Might see where I can get to easily, that might help narrow it down!

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  3. Not quite the same but I did 9 months ravelling by myself and it was amazing and in some aspects were better than travelling with Rodney or friends. The sense of freedom is amazing.

    But 9 months is different to a couple of weeks because you get the chance to make new friends and get used to it. I would still recommend taking the leap and going alone.

    Maybe stay in a private room in a hostel so you can have cpany if you want it and privacy if you don't. Sure if you do your research you'll find a cool hostel with like minded folk. Or how about some kind of tour? Sailing in Croatia?

    Xox

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    1. 9 months is amazing! I'm so glad to hear you had a good time, that fills me with confidence! Great advice about private rooms in a hostel too, I wouldn't have thought about that. Sailing sounds amazing - I definitely think an activity holiday is starting to appeal to me most!

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  4. This is a subject I know a lot about! Ten years single meant a lot of solo travel, because all of my friends were coupled up. Speaking as an introvert, travelling alone really suited me - I'm not the type to need constant chatter around me, and I'm quite happy wandering around on my own or reading quietly. I'm not sure how much solo travel would suit extroverts.

    Anyway, I did a number of long backpacking trips on my own, always in English speaking countries because of the length of time I was away. On these, I found hostels to be the best bet - there are always other lone travellers so I felt like I stuck out less, and there were usually people around if I fancied a chat (in later years I started to book private rooms, because I'm too old to share a dorm with excitable teenagers).

    I also did lots of weekend trips around the UK and in Europe, where I usually went for B&Bs to get more of a local insight into the area. I'm not gonna lie, on all of my trips I had wobbles and moments when I thought, "I wish I was here with someone else" but honestly, having the freedom to do completely what I wanted, and to read endless books on the beach without someone else moaning about being bored, more than made up for it.

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    1. So glad to hear that you've had positive experiences! And also glad to hear that you've had wobbles too, but enjoyed it overall - those wobbles are what make me a bit nervous!

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  5. My friend has had a lot of great solo holidays and highly recommended Iceland and Berlin as top solo spots.

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    1. Ooh a second recommendaton for Berlin - fantastic - thank you!

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  6. I didn't realise you had a blog! What a great post. As a chronic singleton I have got used to doing a lot of things on my own - day trips out, etc. But the two things I've never managed to muster the courage for are the cinema and holidays, although I am seriously considering a lazy solo holiday somewhere hot and sunny at the end of the academic year in order to process the last few years and leave them behind. So I have nothing constructive to add really, just my empathy. What about an 'activity' type holiday - you mentioned yoga, or what about a cookery school or something? x

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    1. Thanks! Odd isn't it what makes us a bit nervous? Glad it's not just me. I am definitely leaning towards an activity holiday for my first jaunt on my own. Seems nice and structured!

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  7. My holiday to Copenhagen in December was my first solo holiday. I was trying to combine a lazy-getting-proper-rest holiday with a more interesting city break, so I spent a week there and paced myself.

    I stayed in an apartment booked through AirBnb, which really worked for me - meant it was a proper base rather than a hotel room, so I could cook there and generally slob around in the evenings and not feel like I had to get dressed and go out every time. The day where all I wanted to do was lie and bed and read? I just did it. I'd have hated a room in someone else's house, but having a whole apartment meant I felt I could do what I wanted while pretending to be a minimalist, fashionable person who can afford Danish design! It helped that I was able to chat to the person I was renting to before I left, and I asked her about the best way to get to the apartment from the airport and she helped me understand how the public transport system worked so I was fully independent.

    Yes, there were definitely times where I felt a bit alone, and times where a second brain would have come in helpful (Danish doorbells, I'm talking about you!). But I'm on my own a lot at home/at weekends anyway, so it just felt like an extended version of that. I even braved going into cafes on my own, something I hate doing at home.

    S x

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    1. That sounds absolutely perfect! I've heard a lot about Copenhagen recently - and photos I've seen look gorgeous. I'll have to add that to the city breaks list! Glad to hear that you enjoyed it, despite the wobbles being alone.

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